Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
