I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
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