I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Randomize
