So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
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Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
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Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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