I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
FUCK WHALES
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
