Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
