So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
She bit a glass in half.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
