can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
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