I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
