Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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