Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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