my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
