Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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