He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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