it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Is Oprah even human
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
