I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
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I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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