Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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