Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
how can u be prego again
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
