No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Best friends brother. Beat that.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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