Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize