the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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