how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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