YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
