Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize