So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
