Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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