I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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