absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize