dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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