I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
