the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
