What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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