found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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