new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
