he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
