Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
