Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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