So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
