New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
