Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
