after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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