Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
