I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
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Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
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Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
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