You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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