i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
