How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
You ruined the universe
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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