Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
