She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
This is my gift to your gina
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
