Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Nobody cheats on THIS.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize