About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
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we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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