The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
