Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Sorry my hands just texted you
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
