So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize