I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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