I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
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