how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
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