using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize